Hey, that's CAPTAIN Douche Bag to you, buddy!

Mar. 19th, 2005

I can't shake that stuck in a rut feeling. It makes me feel like such a douche bag, as they say.
But that's Capt. Douche Bag to you!
Hey, that's CAPTAIN Douche Bag to you, buddy!
Got to love self-deprecation.  I think I'm really going to attempt to get some stuff done for once, and perhaps find some sort of a job.  Really for real this time, really.

I was trying to find an image of a disposable douche to model this after, and sort of had different plans for it all together, but it was pretty much impossible via google image search, which I've always fancied myself rather good at. I couldn't believe it! 

I would never consider using a douche, as I've heard they mess up your "natural balance"...but if I were to, I'd want to secretly check it out online before doing so.  I'd want to know what it is I'm shoving up my poon, you know? * (see note)

This is a traditional, nondisposable, douche bag. One that works as an attachment to what I've known all my life as a hot water bottle.  A douche bag also makes a good enema bag. 

* Note: Please do not direct me to any pictures of douches that you think may be the kind I'm talking about. I've seen more than enough of them "in use" today and none of them were the type that I'm envisioning.  They're the kind that you find in the "girl products" aisle of a grocery store with a picture of a clean looking woman on the front, not the medical bondage type.
Thank you muchly!

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